Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
