You made me cry and you don't even care
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
