And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
