It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
