If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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