so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
