I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
