she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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