Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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