Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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