Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
