I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
