So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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