Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
