You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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