We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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