A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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