i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
