So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
