If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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