YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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