at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
