I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
