Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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