3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
