I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
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