I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
