oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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