I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
