I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't deserve a penis
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
