I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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