The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
