I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
