Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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