Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I look better un-naked...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
