I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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