He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
