Moan for me like Helen Keller
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it was like eating out sand paper
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
