The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
