What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
