This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
