meet me or not, i'm out of control
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
