Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
