As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
