its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
