i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
