Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
