Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
