I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
