upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
